We bring you tidings from sparkleland!

[guardians_song]

The Cullens wonder why Jacob is bringing a mystery person to their house and not the hospital.
(source)

It all started when grad student Edward Masen was sent to a sex shop in the name of science.
(source)

As the new school term begins, Isabella is fascinated by a handsome and mysterious guy, Stefan Salvatore, and the two are not immediately drawn to one another.
Um... yay for cliche-subversion?
(source)

Marilynn Monroe is a vampire and a member of the Romanian Coven, being the mate of Vladimir.
Yes, NOW you can officially say you have heard everything.
(source)